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The guts for a leap of faith. Have you ever wondered how to get them? A start is by moving!
We have all felt it. The aftermath of walking to work every other week, completing a few push-ups once in a blue moon, or stepping a foot in the neighborhood gym. There’s a wide spectrum of activity that qualifies for it, but the sense of accomplishment assuredly follows.
Simply put: physical activation brings fulfillment, and fulfillment brings confidence. None of this is revolutionary or a miracle cure, nor a way to shame or guilt-trip inactivity. It’s just that too many women struggle with believing in themselves and their capabilities without considering or perceiving a way out. Let’s change that. Here’s how:
Find Your Catalyst, Set Your Goal
Physical activity can be hard and boring and annoying, and getting over feeling sweaty, weak, and out of place is not far from unimaginable. It might not seem very fulfilling, then, to expose yourself to such inconvenience.
However, if you think of that one thing you are particularly good at - didn’t that feel just as impossible as a beginner? Yes sure, some things come more naturally to us than others but still, you kept at it. Something made you persist. Whatever the reason, finding that catalyst for living a more active lifestyle will make the biggest difference in consistency.
To carry grocery bags up five flights of stairs with ease might be why. Maybe why is to bring some structure to your life. Or perhaps your why is to prove how resilient you are. As long as it’s you you prove it to. For, after all, this is for you.
Okay, now that you have a reason for withstanding the downside of exercise, let’s imagine the outcome. To be clear, here exercise means any form of voluntary physical activity with the intention of improved health. It could be anything from a 5-minute office stretch to a 90-minute gym session, below and beyond. The goal is to feel accomplished.
Speaking of goals, create specific ones that feel realistic and have at least a glimpse of excitement. Have you never been able to imagine doing a 30-second plank? Well perfect, do it for 10 a couple times a week and you’ll see it’s within reach. When you achieve your goal, pause and say, “I did that.”
Attaining this feeling of accomplishment makes you feel better about yourself, right? You are trying, and for every little win - every inch of confidence - positive reinforcement will boost you further. Or, you know, at least until you fail.
Use Failure as Fuel
Where many goal journeys collapse is by the first failure. Sometimes all it takes is an innocent stumble for dreams to shatter. We know by now though, that life is not a steady upward progression. It has its highs and lows. We have already conquered some. Still, adversity and failure cannot only halter the journey or force you to take a step back, it can even make the ground fall from underneath you.
What physical activity can teach its pursuers, is how to cope with the catastrophic thinking of “I didn’t hit my goal. See, I can’t do it. What’s the point in trying again?” That’s the point, to overcome.
Getting back on track is what builds character, what grows confidence. Failure can even be fun you know! Just imagine the learning possibilities of reflecting and evaluating what might’ve gone wrong. Are you sleeping enough? Eating enough? Drinking enough water? Are you resting and recovering appropriately? Is your life optimally balanced? Find the “flaw” and fix it. Asking another brain for input can be helpful indeed.
For those who don’t resonate with the fun and fueling of failure, set yourself up for success. You can make bullet-proof systems or hold yourself to lower standards with slower progression to long-term health. This takes another kind of discipline but all the same, confidence will flourish.
Learning how to fail through fitness can be scary, but it can also push your limits. It’s a fine line. Ultimately though, you know your body the best. Listen to it, but block the thoughts of incapability. If you give all that you have for the situation you’re in, failure is a fraud. Because simply doing the thing is enough, and an attempt less failed is still progress.
Some failures hurt more than others, however. Not even confidence can fully shield you from it sometimes. “What happens then?” you might ask.
Seek Accountability and Companionship
When push comes to shove and you have given 100% of yourself. When this time, you really thought, “This is it, I’m finally(!) about to achieve my goal.” When you’re running high on confidence, when nothing can stop you, and yet, failure becomes fact. That realization hurts.
It’s not a matter of ‘if’ but when this happens. Once it does, take a look around, scroll through your messages, and reminisce over photos. Who do you recognize smiling, cheering you on, and genuinely rooting for you? Because they won’t judge you for failing, they will salute you for trying and congratulate you for the journey you once committed to.
Actually, if you have looked down on a loved one for not achieving their physical challenge when you know how dedicated they’ve been: raise your hand. Anyone?
Surrounding yourself with supportive people is crucial in maintaining the confidence you have built from week in and week out of doing hard things - of exercising, of continuously choosing to work for it.
The comforting lovebugs are a necessity, but you also want people who can look you in the eyes and tell you how it is. Remember the part about setting yourself up for success? Well, accountability and companionship partners can do just that.
Confidence comes from believing in your abilities, so let’s boost that with a team who have faith in the same. For an example of accountability, give someone $20 (or whatever amount keeps you motivated not to lose it) for every week you do not complete X amount of workouts. Accountability can also look more like a companionship where you recruit a desired number of people to create confidence with you.
To have at least one workout partner is fun, recommended, and brings great perspective. They could know where you started and remind you of it. They could bring creative, light-hearted, or deep conversation. They can be just what you need, and just the same, you can be their light in this journey. Also, the challenges and settings of exercising become less intimidating with a friend.
For those of you who feel lonely or weary of who to include, contact the author (hi, that’s me! And I would love to be on your team) through the links down below. However, an activity partner can be mates on a soccer team, a yoga instructor, or your niece who loves spending physical activity time with you!
Chin-Up, Good Luck
Hopefully, the guts to a leap of faith feels more attainable than a few minutes ago. Just imagine then, how your confidence will grow once you start! Remember, however, that failure ultimately moves you forward - if you let it. Remember that including others makes experiences richer, and maybe you can even get to know yourself better in the process of pursuing something together.
Remember that there’s a purpose to it. When in doubt, go back to your couch and suck on the sweet of reason. Go back to your why. Confidence takes practice, just like physical activity. Combine the two and do it for you.
Women, let’s be stronger, together.
About the Author
Jessica Mattsson is a journalist from Sweden with appreciation for creativity, communication, and human beings. For 15 years, her life revolved around track and field. The training she pushed through resulted in numerous accolades, big-stage performances, and - most importantly - a whole lot of confidence! Recently homebound from 5+ years of studies, athletics, and work in the States, she’s now searching for the next meaningful adventure.
- Instagram: @jessicamattsson_