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How to develop a solid, independent spirit and find purpose.
It is well known that women fear more than men. A study by the Italian Institute of Neurology shows that anxiety is in women's genes. But how can we overcome anxiety and develop strong self-esteem?
I founded Female Entrepreneurs because in Germany we have a high imbalance concerning female founders (17,7% in 2021) and male founders (82,3% in 2021). After lots of talks with my clients and interviews with female business owners, I can say that they are all dealing with anxiety. Some of the biggest hurdles are:
fear of competition
fear of not being financially secure
fear of costs & investments
fear to be alone
fear of the unknown
fear of failure
fear of the public opinion
Therefore, it is important to understand that the feeling of fear is a normal reaction to danger. It is designed to help people eliminate the source of the danger or escape from it. Back in the Stone Age, fear saved our lives. But these days we rarely need to flee from lions or other fundamental dangers. So, what can we do to deal with our biological fears in today's world? Many times, we prefer to stay in our so-called comfort zone. It feels nice and safe in there. Any step out of it means uncertainty. But what is when the uncertain does not feel like the uncertain anymore!? This is how you can work on your fears and mindset to become successful in entrepreneurship:
First step:
Develop a detailed plan for the next three months and write it down. What needs to be done? What do you want to achieve? What are your goals? The benefit of developing a detailed plan is that you have a structure of your next steps and when to take them. I observed that a detailed structure helps individuals a lot to escape anxiety rigidity and stagnation. It gives a feeling of security and a clear vision of how to archive the overall goal. I recommend always creating a detailed structure for the next three months as a short-term plan and a brief middle- to a long-term plan. You can always update your plan. Often new experiences and findings will change the perspective on certain problems. But your brain needs to know which direction you are going and that the steps are written down. In this case, you can keep a clear mind. Then you can put your focus on it and as we all generally know - where focus goes, energy flows.
Second step:
Consistency is key! If you only do something occasionally, it won't get you very far. A good example is the Instagram algorithm: when you only post occasionally the algorithm will not work in your favor. But if you are consistent and deliver engaging content Instagram will show your content to your target group and work in your favor. Here are some facts about consistency to keep in mind:
if you go slower but are consistent you will be faster at the end
it gets worse before it gets better
you can only lose to yourself
the most convenient solution usually does not get you anywhere
Also, what many people do not realize is that if you do not have discipline, you cannot deal with setbacks. In addition, without discipline, you become unmotivated with your business and goals much more quickly. Discipline is the key to success. If you want to achieve something in life, you cannot do it without discipline. Studies show that discipline is even more important than intelligence and talent! If you look at the biographies of successful people, you'll quickly find that it takes years of hard work, self-discipline, courage, hardship, sacrifice, defeat, dedication, critical thinking, and perseverance to make it to the top. If you want to achieve your goals and dreams, you must be willing to continuously do something for it. In the following I want to provide you with ten recommendations on how to learn and develop discipline:
1. Start small and scale up
For you to know what you are working towards and to be motivated, the first step is to set your main goal. In order not to overwhelm yourself and end up losing interest, it is important to start small. Set yourself many small sub-goals for your path, which will take you forward step by step.
2. Set priorities
A clearly defined goal is the key to success - discipline is the motor that drives you. To stay motivated, you have to set priorities and plan your project carefully.
3. Use personal “high times”
Some people are early risers and do the “lion's” share of their duties before lunchtime, while others only blossom and get going in the early evening hours. There is no right or wrong here because everyone has their rhythm. You must know your high times so that you can use them efficiently for yourself and fully exploit your performance potential.
4. Visualize your success
You can use visualization to learn discipline and make your projects a success. First, ask yourself what you are doing it for and why you want to achieve it so badly. Then imagine how you will feel when success comes: what positive feelings will you experience, what rewards will you receive, and how will you live? The more often you visualize these things, the more likely they will burn into your subconscious and motivate you on your way. It doesn't matter whether you just imagine your manifestations, meditate, write in a journal, or draw them.
5. Set clear deadlines
The path is the goal, but so that you don't get lost or even give up, you must set yourself deadlines. On the one hand, they help you to plan your work precisely, on the other hand, they motivate you to stay on the ball. Without a deadline, you would just work in the dark and quickly lose the thread. On the other hand, if you set a precise time by which you want to achieve something or have it completed, you work more focused and ultimately more disciplined.
6. Seek support
You don't have to do everything alone. Rather, you should let other people help you on your way. These can be trainers, mentors, and teachers, but also team members or friends who give you moral support. Therefore, be sure to tell the most important people in your life about your goal and plan. This is the only way they can help you and celebrate your successes with you. This confirmation from the outside will give you additional motivation.
7. Reward yourself for partial successes
Validation helps you stay on track and not give up on the way to your goal. This has also been proven by psychology professor Albert Bandura from Stanford University. According to him, praise helps people stay disciplined, aim higher and higher and become better as a result. In addition to external praise, you should reward yourself when you have achieved one of your sub-goals.
8. Take a break from time to time
Of course, you have to work hard to achieve your goals. However, you cannot always perform at your best and should therefore consistently take breaks. This is the only way you will replenish your energy stores so that you can continue with maximum concentration and productivity. Take conscious rest breaks in which you allow yourself maximum relaxation. For example, after four hours of work, you can take a short walk to take your mind off things. But even a lazy Sunday can work wonders so that you can start again with full force on Monday.
9. Don't give doubters a chance
Unfortunately, there are always skeptics and complainers in your environment who react to your project with little enthusiasm. Try to stay as far away as possible from their doubts and not let them upset you. You may not even want to tell certain people about your project, at least not at first. Stick to close friends, family, and people who are happy to support you. On the other hand, you should avoid pessimists, as they can trigger strong self-doubt in you - and this is absolute poison for your discipline.
10. The 21-day rule
Scientists have found that it takes at least 21 days for a person to establish a routine and develop a habit. If you also want to lose weight, for example, then you must take the time to gradually establish healthy habits. It will be difficult for you at first, but once you get used to it, you will not even think about it anymore.
Third step:
The brain is not designed to think positively. Fortunately, it learns quickly. This means that with simple actions you can "reprogram" your brain so that it can let go of its skepticism and anticipation of danger or other negative events and instead focus on the good in your life. And if you expect good things, the self-fulfilling prophecy will take effect and good things will happen. Because there are probably already many things that are going well in your life that you simply ignore because they are irrelevant to your brain. If you can handle your emotions and thoughts you can achieve everything. If you keep shifting your mental focus back to the positive, it will affect your feelings accordingly. It may not work right away on the first try, but it will get better and better because like many things in life, thinking positively is just a matter of practice.
To summarize, have a detailed short-term plan and set deadlines. Then develop the discipline to follow your plan consistently toward your vision. Keep the ten steps in mind. This will take time and is not to achieve overnight. Keep shifting your mental focus back to the positive – you must have the ability and power to control your thoughts. When you feel overwhelmed take a break and reflect. Do not be too hard on yourself and learn to fall in love with the journey. This will shift your perspective on your business and life and helps you to appreciate it more.
I developed the most when I took some time off and reflected. I learned to fall in love with the process and not take everything, I see or read on the internet as a benchmark. Do not compare yourself with someone who started five years earlier. That just leads to more pressure and anxiety, which conducts in stagnation and discontent. I experienced a huge difference in my client’s work ethic once we implemented these strategies and had extensive talks about developing as an individual who embodies the right mindset and habits to become successful in entrepreneurship. Within these years of working in consulting, I realized that it is really about the right inner attitude an individual has and less about business know-how. You can buy knowledge; you can get a mentor guiding you through the process of building up a business or even an empire. But you can never pay someone for you to change your inner attitude. That work is up to you and decides whether you will be successful or not.
About the Author
Chelina Höning went to high school in the States and Germany. Later she studied International Management B.A. in Germany and Switzerland and International Business Administration with a focus on Entrepreneurship M.A. in Germany.
She started her first business with 22 in E-Commerce and worked for a consulting firm in Germany. In 2021 she founded Female Entrepreneurs and now helps women start and build their sustainable businesses.
Website: https://www.femaleentrepreneurs.de/
Instagram: @femaleentrepreneurs_
Facebook: @femaleentrepreneurss